Dare or Dare
by Naoto Tatsumi
Summary: Prussia dares America to pull Canada's curl. America is confused. Just a very strange story I started writing a while ago entirely for fun. It's kinda all over the map ha , but I hope it'll at least amuse you. Also, smut.
1. Chapter 1 The Setup

Title: Dare or Dare

Rating: M

Pairings/Characters: AmeCan, Prussia

Warnings: Severe randomness, shenanigans, uncivilized telephone pranks, and smut. As in yaoi incest smut (but not until like chapter 3). You've been warned.

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Chapter 1- The setup

"_So wait... It doesn't, like, do anything to you?" Gilbert stared at Alfred, curiosity filling his eyes. _

"_Whaddaya mean, 'do anything'? S'just a curl..." Reaching his hand up, he tugged at Nantucket a few more times. Gilbert seemed absolutely fascinated by this, reaching up and tugging a few times himself. He just stared for a minute before a devilish grin filled his face. _

"_Well then, scratch that last dare. I have something for you."_

Alfred and Gilbert had been friends for a while, but they'd never really spent much time together; that was more of Matthews's thing. That all changed, however, when Alfred woke up about a month ago, incredibly hung over, to a message on his answering machine,

_"Just got your message, dude. And I gotta say... That's kinda messed up. Your brother? You have a thing for your brother? And you confessed it to me of all people? Talk about strange things to wake up to."_

Since then, he and the Prussian had been talking much more, mostly because the last thing Alfred wanted was for people to find out about his long-time feelings for Matthew. They enjoyed each-others company, though, and Alfred figured it couldn't hurt his relationship with his brother to become friends with his best friend.

Tonight, they had decided on a game of dare or dare, a game of Gilberts own creation, in which you got to choose between dare or dare, and then you would have to perform said dare. The two, being the hyper-active, rather idiotic pair that they were, thought the idea to be absolutely brilliant (to hell with what eyebrows said, this was totally creative and original! And HEROIC!), and it often took up a majority of time during their random meet-ups.

After the usual fight over who would go first, ("I'm too AWESOME to NOT go first!" "But dude, heroes ALWAYS go first! It's like a rule!") it settled on a game of rock paper scissors.

"HA! DYNAMITE BEATS- What the hell is that?"

"Dude, it's a dinosaur! And it TOTALLY beats dynamite!"

"How?"

"It eats it!"

"But then it'll just blow up from the inside!"

"Not if it's got a lead lined stomach."

The former-nation slumped back against the armchair he was sitting in, folding his arms as his face twisted in thought.

"...Fine. You go first."

Alfred punched the air, grinning at his victory, "Okay, so, I dare you to... Call Ludwig and confess your love to him!"

Gilbert scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Really, man? Weeeak," He grabbed the phone from the table next to him, dialing in the number without even having to think about it. It wasn't like he hadn't been dared to prank-call his brother before, as a matter of fact he did it all the time, even when not dared to. Alfred chuckled deviously as Gilbert punched in the number, but didn't say anything. He was obviously planning something.

There was silence in the air as the phone rang. After the second ring, Alfred blurted out, "...While doing you best impression of Feliciano!"

Gilbert seemed to choke on his own tongue as the information simultaneously clicked with the picking up of the receiver on the other end.

"Ja? Hello?" Even Alfred, who was sitting across the room, could hear Ludwig's voice trough the phone. He was a pretty loud guy even when he wasn't angry.

There was silence for a moment as Gilbert seemed to collect himself. "...Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Y-yes... Ludwig? I wanted to... Um... Tell you something!"

Alfred pressed his hand tightly over his mouth, rolling on the floor and practically convulsing from holding in his laughter. Gilberts Italian accent was _terrible, _but funny enough, to Alfred's surprise, his overall impression was pretty good. He has the high, kinda squeaky voice down pat.

"...Feliciano? Is that you? You sound a little... Weird, I guess? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just, um... Nervous." Gilbert had to cover the bottom of the phone with his hand and turn his head away, breathing deeply to keep himself from bursting out laughing.

"Nervous? What do you—"

"I wanted to tell you that... I love you!" There was a shocked silence from Ludwig's end as Alfred began punching the floor, burying his face in the carpet to try to keep the laughter from spilling out. Gilbert once again held the phone away from him, doubling over the arm of the chair in silent laughter. He straightened himself up, steadied his breathing, and continued before Ludwig could respond,

"I want you to marry me! And you can wear the dress!" For a moment Gilbert thought he blew the whole thing, as just the mentioning of the word 'dress' made Alfred howl in laughter. He was able to stifle himself before he made any more noise though, and Ludwig was apparently too dumbfounded to think anything of it. "And... I want to make a pasta shaped like your anatomy!" He paused for a moment, pretending to think, "...That's a big pasta."

Ludwig made a strange squeaky noise and you could just hear his embarrassment. The noise pushed Gilbert over the edge though, so he made the best attempt he could to keep up the impression and not loose his cool while quickly ending the call, "Okaythat'sall BYEEEEEEE~" He threw down the receiver and the two immediately began roaring with laughter, Gilbert falling out of the chair and Alfred remarking about how he could no longer feel his lungs.

"OHMYGOD PASTA SHAPED LIKE YOUR ANATOMY DUDE THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD" Alfred spit out, gasping to breathe in between spurts of laughter.

Once the two calmed down (it took a good ten minutes), they wiped the tears from their eyes and steadied their breathing.

"Man, he's going to KILL me when he realizes that wasn't Feliciano!" The two just lied on the floor for a bit before Gilbert once again broke the silence, "Okay! I have a dare for you, now!" He grinned, sitting up and turning to Alfred, who sat up as well. Alfred braced for the worst. It was basically tradition to try one-upping each other in hilarity value of the prank outcome, and Al knew previous events were going to be hard to top.

"Alright... I want you to pull that thing!" The Prussian reached out his arm and indicated to the curl on top of Alfred's head. Alfred just stared at him blankly for a moment.

"...You mean Nantucket?"

"Yeah, whatever you call that thing. Pull it!" This was met with another long, strange look.

"Um... Okay?" Alfred reached up, grabbed the curl, and tugged.

Nothing.

"Wait... What?" Gilbert looked puzzled, crawling over and examining the strange cowlick closer.

"Uh, what are you doing?" The proximity of the Prussian was a bit unnerving. Gilbert looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowing.

"So wait... It doesn't, like, do anything to you?"

"Whaddya mean, 'do anything'? S'just a curl..."

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_Authors Notes_: Ah... I don't know what the hell this is. Seriously. I don't. It's not even AmeCan, really, or... Anything sensible. Honestly, I started this story forever ago, then came back and absolutely HATED how I'd started it. So, I cut the whole beginning, started typing, and THIS happened.

Yeaaaaaaaaah. For the record, this is gonna be moderately short, like 3-4 chapters max. Smut's not gonna be for a little while.

Also, if you get the pasta shaped like your anatomy thing, I salute you xD


	2. Chapter 2 The Prosecution

Chapter 2– The prosecution

"Come on, get in the car!" Gilbert pleaded.

"Not until you tell me why, or what the dare is." Alfred stood in the doorway of his house, arguing with Gilbert, who was standing near the drivers side door of his car. Gilbert looked a little frustrated, but there was still a glint of mischief in his eye. Hesitating for a moment, he spit out, "Okay... We're going to see Mattie. I dare you to pull his curl."

Alfred stared at him for a moment, taken aback, "...Whut?"

"You heard me. You have to pull that little curl thing he has coming out of his head."

"...Why?"

"Because I dared you to! C'mon, what's the matter? You gonna back down, _hero_?"

Alfred visibly twitched before stomping over to the car and climbing in. Gilbert grinned and climbed in as well, staring up the car.

It took about five minutes for Alfred to really regret not thinking everything through.

It was about 10pm when they pulled into Matthew's driveway. Because they were, y'know, countries, they didn't really have to worry too much about customs and such, and for reasons of convenience, they had special roads they could travel to get them between countries, cutting the driving time significantly. It was still a bit of a drive, though, from America to Canada, and Alfred had spent the entire time thinking about why Gilbert could have wanted him to pull his little brothers curl. He'd never really though much of the little curly strand of hair before (he'd heard Kiku call it an 'ohage'), but now he was intrigued. What could pulling it possibly do? Gilbert had apparently thought pulling his out weird 'curl' would have some sort of effect on him. But it just kinda hurt a bit. Like, well... Someone tugging on your hair.

After a few minutes of prodding, Gilbert coerced Alfred out of the car, and before he knew it he was ringing the doorbell of the Canadian house.

At 10pm.

He quietly asked God to spare his soul when Matthew came out and killed him for this.

After no response for a few seconds, he decided it best to just start mashing the button until he saw a light flick on in one of the upstairs rooms. He continued pushing the button despite actually receiving a reaction until Matthew appeared in the doorway, looking very tired (and much to Alfred's displeasure, absolutely adorable, in red flannel pajama bottoms and a three-sizes too big white sleeveless top with a maple leaf printed on the front).

"Al? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He yawned, looking more than a little annoyed. As he stretched, the right sleeve of his shirt fell, little to his knowledge, and Alfred had to force his eyes away from the now-exposed skin of his shoulder.

"Hiya, Mattie," He fiddled with the zipper of his bomber jacket, trying to seem as cool and casual as he could, "Well, ya see, Gil and I were playing this game, and he told me I had to... Uh... Well... SorryaboutthisbutIgottadoit"

Without warning, he shot his hand at the little curl that sprung from the top of Matthews's head and tugged.

What he expected was a yelp of pain and possibly a smack, to which he would have to explain away the next day as Gilberts fault for drugging him (it was close enough to being true, right?) and then daring him to do it. What he expected was Matthew to get upset, but eventually forgive him and brush it off as another one of his brothers crazy antics.

What happened, however, was not what he expected.

There was a visible shiver, traveling from his head down to his feet, which racked through the Canadians body. His eyes squeezing shut, a faint pink blush dusted his cheeks and his mouth dropped open, a hella sexy moan spilling out.

Alfred immediately released the thin curl, taking a step back as he retracted his hand. Matthew's hand shot up to cover his mouth, his face now practically glowing red and his eyes wide with a mixture of fear and embarrassment. They stood there like that for a moment, just staring at one another, neither knowing exactly what to say.

Alfred, thinking ahead like he normally did, impulsively grabbed for the curl again. Once again, a shiver rebounded through Matthews's spine, and this time his knees buckled a bit. His hands fell from his mouth as another moan escaped, this time actually forming a word, "A-_Aaaaaaal_..."

This time it was Alfred glowing red (though Matthew was still quite red himself) as he retracted his hand again. Once again, there was an awkward silence as they stared at one-another, both equally embarrassed and (Alfred guessed) turned on. Alfred snuck a glance over his shoulder at the car, where Gilbert was rolling in the drivers seat. He apparently had a pretty good view of the whole ordeal, and was enjoying it quite a bit. As his eyes trailed back, he locked stares with Matthew, who was practically radiating red.

A cold Canadian wind blew, giving Alfred an excuse to push passed Matthew into the house, away from the harsh weather and the spectator. Matthew's eyes followed Alfred into the house, and he sheepishly closed the door. Alfred couldn't help but wonder if he'd even noticed Gilbert in the car?

Alfred subtly pulled out his phone, pulling up Gilberts number in the text box and beginning to type;

_I. HATE. YOU._

Not even ten seconds later, his phone vibrated again, and he opened it;

_You shouldn't hate your driver. Have a nice night~_

Alfred spun around to see the lights from Gilberts car creeping backwards through the window on the door. He froze, the gears in his brain trying to fit everything together for him, and by the time he actually thought to go out and maybe stop the car from leaving him stranded, the lights were long gone.

He then remembered Matthew.

Sheepishly, he let his eyes trail over to the other, who was staring at him as well, hands on his head with his fingers laced carefully around his curl. Their gazes met for a moment before they both looked away violently, color filling both of their faces.

"So, uh, Matt… I'm kinda stuck up here, so... Uh… Think I could stay the night…?"

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_Authors Notes_: That special roads thing? 'Cause they're countries? Yeah, that came outta my ass. I'm not even gonna try covering it up xD

...Next chapter is smut. I hope you're all looking forward to that. This is actually my first time writing... *Ahem* _THAT_. I hope it doesn't fail miserably OTL


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